If you’re experiencing any of the following, now is the time to consider couples / marriage / relationship counselling:
- When you talk to your partner, it feels as though you’re hitting a brick wall.
- Your conversations just go round and round in never-ending circles.
- After you’ve talked, you feel frustrated and confused.
- You can’t talk for more than a few minutes without it turning into a shouting match.
- You’re afraid that if you bring up a certain subject, things will get even worse.
- There’s nothing left to say.
- There is a lot of arguments or relationship conflicts.
Together or alone?
Ideally, you should go to couple’s therapy together: it’s hard to build a team if only half the players are there. If one person makes the decision to give couple’s therapy a try, the partner may decide to go too.
If your partner flatly refuses to join you, there are lots of things couple’s therapy can help you sort out on your own. There may be changes you can make alone that will have a positive impact on your relationship. Some people also prefer to have therapy on their own at first to work out their feelings before seeing a therapist as a couple.
What will happen?
All psychotherapists have their own styles and ways of working. Brian has been providing therapy with couples regularly for some time now.
Brian will work with collaboratively with you in a non-judgemental and confidential way through the following three steps:
Exploring your story – the nature of the problems and what impact they’re having on you and your relationship. The history of how the problems arose and what changes you’d like to see.
Understanding your story – why you’re struggling with these problems now and the things that may be preventing you from overcoming them.
Rewriting your story – finding the strengths and resources to resolve your difficulties, or at least make them more bearable.
How does couples / relationship / marriage counselling work?
First and foremost, couple’s therapy works by giving you the chance to be heard. Brian will give you both the time you need to talk and to be heard. It’s an opportunity to look at the problem in a different way with someone who’ll respect and encourage your opinions and decisions.
For many couples, the solution is right under their noses – it just takes someone objective to help you access your resources within and see what it is. It’s like the saying “You can’t see the wood for the trees”