When Only the Preferred Voices Count
A systemic reading of the three day wait debate The debate about Ireland’s mandatory three day waiting period for abortion has been presented largely as a conflict between clinical evidence and political ideology. That framing is too simple. A more important question is beginning to emerge: whose experiences were actually gathered before institutional positions were […]
When Allegations Become a Gate to Contact A systemic and narrative view of family law investigations and lost relationships
In some custody and access disputes, an allegation of abuse or assault is followed by an immediate loss of contact, a specialist Garda interview with the child, a prolonged criminal process, and a decision by the DPP not to prosecute. Sometimes, after a long period of uncertainty, a new allegation is made by the same […]
CORU and ICP on Supervision and Personal Therapy A systemic deconstruction for experienced psychotherapists in Ireland
The Irish debate is often presented as a choice between a statutory regulator that values observable competence and a professional body that values depth, personal therapy, and ongoing supervision. That is too simple. CORU and ICP are doing different kinds of work. CORU defines a public protection threshold for entry and accountable practice. ICP articulates […]
How Couples Can Have Difficult Conversations Without Losing Connection
How couples can speak clearly, tolerate difference and remain emotionally connected when something difficult needs to be said. A strong relationship does not depend on partners avoiding difficult truths. It depends on their capacity to bring those truths into the relationship without turning difference into a contest for control. The difficulty is not conflict itself […]
What Emotional Accountability Looks Like After Conflict
Conflict does not necessarily damage a relationship. The greater risk lies in what happens afterwards. Couples can survive disagreement, anger and misunderstanding when both partners can return to the interaction, acknowledge what occurred and repair the relational injury. When conflict is followed by denial, defensiveness, blame or silence, the original disagreement often becomes secondary. The […]
How to Stop Parenting Your Partner
A relationship can gradually become organised around one partner managing, reminding, correcting and anticipating, while the other waits, withdraws, forgets or leaves decisions to them. What begins as practical support can slowly acquire the structure of a parent and child relationship. The difficulty is rarely located entirely within one person. It is usually sustained by […]
Signs of an Emotionally Immature Relationship
An emotionally immature relationship is not simply one in which people have strong feelings, argue or occasionally behave badly. Emotional maturity concerns what happens after a feeling arises. Can each person recognise what they are experiencing, tolerate discomfort, remain curious about the other person and take responsibility for how they respond? In an emotionally immature […]
When Living Together After Separation Stops Being Workable
Living together after separation is rarely comfortable. Discomfort, grief and occasional disagreement do not necessarily mean that the arrangement has failed. The more important question is whether the household remains sufficiently safe, predictable and bounded for each adult to function and for the children to remain outside the parental conflict. An arrangement may begin as […]
Managing Money, Privacy and Parenting Under One Roof After Separation
Money, privacy and parenting are not simply three items on a separation checklist. When separated couples continue living under one roof, these areas often become the channels through which fear, resentment and uncertainty are expressed. A missed contribution towards a bill may be experienced as financial abandonment. A request for privacy may be interpreted as […]
How to Tell Children You Are Separated When You Still Live Together
Telling children that their parents are separating is difficult in any circumstances. It becomes more complicated when both parents continue living in the same home. Children may hear the words “we are separated” while continuing to see both parents in the kitchen, sharing household responsibilities, attending family events and sometimes eating meals together. The words […]