Perturbing the Family System Without imposing Certainty – How small shifts in understanding can open new possibilities for family relationships
When a family becomes certain about its problem Families often seek therapy when the same difficulty has been repeated so many times that everyone feels they already know what is happening. One person is described as controlling, another as distant, another as difficult. These descriptions may capture genuine experiences, yet they can also become fixed […]
Parenting Through Change One Difficult Moment at a Time
Start with one moment Parenting can feel unmanageable when every part of the day seems to bring another argument. It is often more useful to begin with one repeated moment: getting out the door, homework, screen time, bedtime or moving between homes. Choose a recent example and slow it down. What was happening before the […]
When a Child Changes Look at the Wider Picture
A change is a reason to become curious Changes in a child’s behaviour can leave parents wondering what has happened and what they should do next. A child may become quieter, more irritable, clingier or more resistant to routines. A change may appear at home, in school, with friends or in one particular relationship. Parents […]
Why Relationships Return to the Same Pattern
A familiar difficulty People often reach a point where they are tired of having the same conversation. One person raises a concern. The other hears criticism and explains or defends. The first person repeats the point more forcefully. The other goes quiet or leaves. Both are left with a familiar conclusion: I cannot get through, […]
When Only the Preferred Voices Count
A systemic reading of the three day wait debate The debate about Ireland’s mandatory three day waiting period for abortion has been presented largely as a conflict between clinical evidence and political ideology. That framing is too simple. A more important question is beginning to emerge: whose experiences were actually gathered before institutional positions were […]
When Allegations Become a Gate to Contact A systemic and narrative view of family law investigations and lost relationships
In some custody and access disputes, an allegation of abuse or assault is followed by an immediate loss of contact, a specialist Garda interview with the child, a prolonged criminal process, and a decision by the DPP not to prosecute. Sometimes, after a long period of uncertainty, a new allegation is made by the same […]
CORU and ICP on Supervision and Personal Therapy A systemic deconstruction for experienced psychotherapists in Ireland
The Irish debate is often presented as a choice between a statutory regulator that values observable competence and a professional body that values depth, personal therapy, and ongoing supervision. That is too simple. CORU and ICP are doing different kinds of work. CORU defines a public protection threshold for entry and accountable practice. ICP articulates […]
How Couples Can Have Difficult Conversations Without Losing Connection
How couples can speak clearly, tolerate difference and remain emotionally connected when something difficult needs to be said. A strong relationship does not depend on partners avoiding difficult truths. It depends on their capacity to bring those truths into the relationship without turning difference into a contest for control. The difficulty is not conflict itself […]
What Emotional Accountability Looks Like After Conflict
Conflict does not necessarily damage a relationship. The greater risk lies in what happens afterwards. Couples can survive disagreement, anger and misunderstanding when both partners can return to the interaction, acknowledge what occurred and repair the relational injury. When conflict is followed by denial, defensiveness, blame or silence, the original disagreement often becomes secondary. The […]
How to Stop Parenting Your Partner
A relationship can gradually become organised around one partner managing, reminding, correcting and anticipating, while the other waits, withdraws, forgets or leaves decisions to them. What begins as practical support can slowly acquire the structure of a parent and child relationship. The difficulty is rarely located entirely within one person. It is usually sustained by […]