The Oppositional Child.

Parenting is not something any of us has been trained to do perfectly. Children do not arrive with a manual or instructions.

The Oppositional behaviour in your child may be frequently considered particularly "bad" or "offensive" however very often the opposite is true. Many of these children simply have a low frustration tolerance. When these children are having a difficult time with tasks, they may wish to cease the task in hand. For the child this may be the best way for them to eliminate their frustration.

When the child finds the parent or adult will not permit them to stop the task in hand. The child may choose to get rid of their frustration by behaving in a manner he or she believes will result in the parent changing their mind and permitting the child to pursue their own desires at that time.

Being the parent of an oppositional child is not easy. Counselling or Psychotherapy can provide you with an outlet for your own frustrations and concerns. This can lead to better outcomes for your child as you will be better prepared to deal with the problem behaviours. Here are some tips to help you:

  • Offer Positive Messages: Do you give your child positive messages daily?
  • Reflect on your own life: Are you a source of encouragement to your child or do you hinder your child?
  • Take time for yourself: Develop outside interests such as exercising. Spend time away from your child to replenish your energy levels.
  • Reflect on and know your expectations: Is it possible that you expect too much from your child or too little? Are you being objective and consistent?
  • Have you noticed a cycle of arguements: Do you find yourself arguing with your child? Have you considered personal time out to give yourself a clear mindset?
  • Be forgiving: Start each day with a fresh outlook and a clean slate. Let go of the things your child may have done in the past.
  • Learn ways to calm yourself: By keeping your own cool, you are providing a model of behaviour for your child to emulate.
  • Be Unconditional: Do you view your child by the sum of their successes or failures? Perhaps you could place your focus on the bond you have established with your child instead.
  • Teach your child to self soothe: Self soothing usually starts in infancy however for some children this skill is not acquired in early life.
  • Would teaching meditation help? Providing your child with the skills of meditation and breathing will enhance their ability to self soothe.

Ultimately, children want parents who are unconditionally loving, forgiving,affectionate and passionate. Will you allow the negativity of a moment to impact on the potential of a life long relationship?